North Star Holistic Health Blog

Praying for peace

12/30/2022

Praying for peace - My first true Sankalpa
Sitting on the carpeted floor of the apartment I shared with a lover who was older than my only living parent, I endeavored to learn how to pray honestly. Riding the desperation for a new way of living created by years of unmanageability and chaos that is the inevitable result of addiction; I was motivated to try something new. An actual belief in god seemed irrelevant to me, my instincts told me that the power was in the action, the behavior of praying, not in any real or imagined deity.
“What do I pray for?” I asked myself. I was being encouraged to ask for help, but I had no idea what to ask for. I sat there, in the quiet; the late summer sun beginning to burn the day while inside the air conditioning created a season-less illusion searching for a desire in my heart.
When I looked at myself, all I saw or felt was war. I was at war with myself and the world, full of shame fueled hatred and rage. My mind was a turbulent sea, crashing waves of blame, despair, and violence through the fibers of my being. The drugs had given me safe haven from the storm that was my internal reality until my need for them created it’s own chaotic storm; there was nowhere left to run or hide. I sat on that tan rug in the summer sun and cold air motivated by desperate need for relief from the pain of living and the pain of living without drugs.
My body still, my breath slowing down, I observed my warring insides and felt my desperate need for peace. The awareness of this desire came with the sense that outward violence is generated from internal violence. My first prayer was formed “peace within and peace without”. The journey to internal peace began that day when I committed to making peace with myself.
That first prayer was in 2003. There was not a precise end to the war within me, it gradually stopped, one surrender at a time. The scars from the internal battles won are sources of gratitude, empathy and compassion. Gratitude for my freedom and the opportunity to guide others to peace. Empathy for those still at war with themselves and the world around them. Compassion for the ongoing healing and integration that takes place within me and for those who still suffer.

Today, my heart's desire is to serve the forces of love and peace that I have found to be infinitely abundant. May you embrace your heart's desire and be blessed with the fortitude to commit to your highest purpose.

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Motivation Matters

12/15/2022

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When it comes to self care, motivation matters. Motivation is in the heart and mind, that internal landscape has as much (if not more) effect on your overall health as your behavior. This is why meditation and cultivation of love and respect for yourself has a drastic effect on your overall well being as well as measurable physiological benefits.

Take exercise, for example. What drives you to exercise?

Weight loss?
Health?
Burning calories?
Earning treats?
A desire to feel strong?
A desire to look strong?
Love of movement?

The possibilities could go on and on for what you might tell yourself and what belief systems lie beneath what you tell yourself are the reasons you exercise. This kind of self examination requires courage, humility, patience, and persistence; It is not for the faint of heart or those looking for a quick fix for dissatisfaction or unhappiness. We must be willing to look deeply at our lives if we seek the joy and fulfillment that comes from spiritual freedom. Healing takes place at the rate at which we are willing to experience the withdrawal from the outdated coping skills that we have been using to cover or deny the pain of life. Endeavoring on a journey of healing and integration means learning new skills and a new way to live, a new way of being. We evolve and learn new ways of being by first practicing the behaviors that demonstrate our desired evolution.
For example, you want to exercise for health, but currently use exercise as a way to punish yourself for eating what you want. What does a person who exercises for health do (action) that is different from a person who exercises for punishment?

Maybe it’s letting go of tracking calories burned or tracking days
Maybe it’s more rest days
Maybe it’s a whole different kind of exercise

This part of the evolutionary process must be personal, because only you can know what your true motivation is.

These new behaviors lay the groundwork for new thoughts, elevated and evolved mindsets. You must learn to think differently about exercise in order to sustain and evolve the new behavior. Your mind will follow your behavior and you help it get there by learning to cultivate and tend your internal landscape; orienting yourself towards your highest self and purpose.
This combination of regular, practical practice and internal, conscious control leads to the emergence of new feelings and emotions that flow from our natural state of harmony and peace. The new thought and behavior patterns that are created from acting as if we are the person that we are becoming and thinking like the person we are becoming shift our attitudes and feelings into our new way of being.
I created the Chakra Journey, as a way to offer this path of spiritual evolution in a group setting. If you would prefer work individually, empowered realignment provide this same guidance and hands on bodywork to manually adjust the energy of your body towards your natural state of harmony and peace.
As we approach the longest night and move into the depths of winter, I am inviting you to be gentle and kind with yourself. Allow yourself to rest into the certainty that you are a unique expression of pure consciousness and infinite potential.
May the light within you illuminate to your consciousness your divine nature.

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
- Brihadaranyaka Upanishad

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