Menopause is a Homecoming
Menopause feels like a journey back home to myself. Throughout peri-menopause, I've learned to release unrealistic expectations I placed on myself and those imposed by societal and familial standards. Spirituality, to me, is authenticity; however, in a society valuing quantity over quality, and productivity over joy, spiritual fulfillment often takes a back seat. I've always been contrary—my first steps were away from my mother. Despite this, my resistance to conformity didn't shield me from adopting false beliefs.
Growing up, my subconscious absorbed misconceptions from those around me—parents, friends, and other influential adults. These false beliefs shaped my behavior and thoughts. The long journey back to the ability to recognize my Truth is a story for another day.
This story is how that ability to recognize Truth converged with my initiation into peri-menopause.
It all started with losing my voice one day, followed by heat intolerance and excruciating joint pain that prevented me from even holding my 3 year old son’s hand. At 42, entering peri-menopause wasn't on my radar. The symbolism of my symptoms was not readily apparent to me, after I found relief I realized they were mirroring my inner discontent and inability to express my true desires. After many doctor visits and tests, I finally found relief through essential oils, change in diet and focused Yoga practices. I eventually found a lovely Nurse Practitioner who listened to all of my symptoms and explained peri-menopause to me. I was somewhat relieved but also dismayed to learn how little could be predicted about what was sure to be a long journey (the average length of peri-menopause is 8 years!). Once I was physically able to return to “normal”, there was now my unhappiness to confront.
I didn’t know it yet but my choices that seemed rational and correct were fear-driven, rooted in a belief that I couldn't make good decisions based on my feelings. While relying solely on emotions might not always be advisable, disconnecting from my intuition led to choices that weren't aligned with my true self. Unfortunately, this pattern persisted into my marriage. I had fallen in love, married and made decisions about our life together that were disconnected from my own sense of desire, pleasure and happiness.
Though I regret the pain caused and endured during and after our separation, I cherish the beautiful moments and our son. My ex-husband's dedication as a father has been unwavering, prioritizing parenthood amid our differences.
Realizing I married the wrong person led to a spiritual awakening. Awakening isn’t easy; it requires recognizing our slumber. The discomfort of menopausal symptoms shocked me awake—realizing I had neglected my own happiness and life quality. The emotional turmoil of contemplating divorce added to this awakening. We divorced amicably, focusing on co-parenting. Today, our relationship is built on love and respect.
My menopausal journey continues (8 years in peri-menopause), fraught with physical, emotional, and spiritual trials. Yet, armed with support, knowledge, and experience, I embrace the sacredness of this phase.
My initial confusion, lack of resources, and the women seeking guidance motivated me to collaborate with the wise women at CLIMB for a series offering practical advice and clear information on peri-menopause and menopause. I’m excited about what we’ve created to offer all of the information and support that I wish I had from the very beginning. If you are on the journey of menopause or wonder if you may have started already, I hope you’ll join us! The details can be found on CLIMB’s website, here.
